I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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