i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Dignity is for republicans.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm way too hungover for life right now
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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