I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
