Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
