i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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