I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
