I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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