Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
