Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
