it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
