Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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