1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
