My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
