wake up i wanna do it froggy style
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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