2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
