As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
