stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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