After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
