I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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