Your dad touched me again.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize