Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
