worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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