i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You need a sexual gate keeper
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
