Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
