is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
