white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Your penis caused this!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
