Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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