life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
