You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
