escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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