Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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