I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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