I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
