i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
