If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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