I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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