dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
