How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize