In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I looked at my own cervix.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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