Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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