porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
