I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
