that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
