i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
