ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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