No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
