i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
