the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
