Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize