butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
