Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize