After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
