There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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