Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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