that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
