apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
we're so committed to being not committed
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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