Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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