I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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